3 Reasons Men Should Treat Their Butts Like a Sports Car

For many men, the concept of the bidet still feels distinctly foreign, as perplexingly un-American as a communist driving on the left side of the road on the way to a Boxing Day sale. But this thinking is wrong-headed. Let us put this era of shameful barbarism behind us and bring bidets out from the shadows to where they belong, which is, well, also behind us.

Not sold on a bidet? If so, consider how you would treat an expensive, but dirty, sports car if you had one. Using ordinary toilet paper will not get you to the same level of clean and fresh as a bidet will, and certainly not from a sanitary perspective. Here’s another way of looking at it – would your car get clean if you washed it with paper? Using a bidet typically puts an end to those unsightly skid marks that magically appear in your undies! Much like cleaning off mud on your car, you should be spraying your personal mud with water to clean. Water keeps your car and your underwear healthy.

Additionally, cleaning your backside with water will cut down on unpleasant odors that you may not notice, but others will. No man wants a noticeable odor emitting from their netherregions. Keep your nose, and other’s noses, smelling healthy.

So, what if you have used a bidet in the past and didn’t care for it? Perhaps it felt girly, or foreign, in an uncomfortable way. The best part of the bidet is it’s a totally optional installment to your toilet. It installs right on top of your existing throne. If your wife likes to use the bidet but you don’t, then it’s easy to simply just use toilet paper all while sitting on the same exact bidet. We all know that motto “happy wife, happy life” and a bidet absolutely applies here. If your wife wants a bidet...well, so do you. Having this mindset keeps your relationship healthy. Also, even the most manly of men will eventually use the bidet when they have an unsavory BM that toilet paper simply won’t clean.